Speaking of setting intentions, I’d like to share my mentor Elizabeth Neuse's post on her own New Year’s
Resolutions.
Elizabeth is not only an
amazing Yoga Teacher, she’s also kind, candid, cool, laidback and incredibly
funny. I aspire to be like her as a yoga teacher and as a person.
But back to The New Year.
Check out Elizabeth’s 2014 intentions. You’re in for a treat:
Resolutions and
Samskaras
This year I made one
New Year’s resolution- to omit sugar and road rage from my diet. No one likes
to picture her yoga teacher raging at other drivers, but it happens. I decided
to begin on Jan 5th right after returning from vacation. As I walked into the
yoga studio yesterday a sweet student offered me a truffle. Walking out another
dear student gave me a box of truffles. Before I knew it I was driving through
SoHo steering with my knee, holding a praline crunch cup between two fingers
and using another finger to indicate how I felt about the driver who just tried
to cut me off. A few moments later I snapped out of my sugar rage, cursing
myself for breaking my resolution after only 15 hours (if you count the hours I
was asleep). A few moments after that I remembered something about self-love
and decided to get curious rather than hostile towards myself.
In Buddhist practice
we learn that suffering comes in the form of two arrows. The first arrow is the
inevitable life circumstance- someone cutting you off in traffic or forgetting
that you have given up sugar long enough to scarf down a few chocolates. The
second arrow comes in the form of judgment of the first arrow. The second arrow
is the expletive that flies out of your mouth, like a rabid sparrow, fueled by
the nasty thoughts you think about yourself when you “mess up”. The first arrow
can be a tool for learning. The second is a weapon.
When I take a step
back and look at the first arrow I can see that while my intention was to love
everyone and save myself from early tooth decay, I hadn’t done much to address
the samskaras (habitual patterns) that caused me to react in the moment.
Yogis have known for thousands of years what scientists are discovering today.
It is incredibly difficult to change our habitual patterns, because they are
wired into our brains. BUT it is possible. Through tapas (dedication), svadyaya
(self study) and Ishvara Pranidhana (letting go), over a long period of
time we can change our habits.
With these teachings
in mind I got curious. I noticed that although I had flipped the bird at the
other driver, I didn’t actually feel upset. My nervous system had not responded
the way it used to, with clenched teeth and a racing heart. I looked in the
rearview mirror at the man behind me whom I had not let in. I repeated a phrase
Pema Chodron offers, “Just like me.” Most of the time when someone does
something we abhor, if we get really honest we can recall a time when we did
the same thing or at least something with the same energy behind it.
“Just like me” opened
me up a little.
At the very next
light someone else tried to cut me off. Instead of honking and speeding up, I
slowed down and waved him in. To my surprise it actually felt good to help him
even if he was breaking the rules. Sandwiched between my “just like me’s” I
acknowledged that open feels better than shut. Curious feels better than
judgmental. Gentle feels better than angry.
Now what about the
truffles?
They were given to me
as a gift. I told myself gratitude meant eating them. However, as a vegetarian
for the past 18 years, if someone gave me bacon truffles as a gift I would not
eat them.
What would I do?
Share them with a bacon-loving friend.
Last night I enjoyed
one more truffle and shared the rest with my bacon-loving husband. I decided
that small amounts of high quality chocolate eaten mindfully works better for
me than deprivation. I also changed my resolution to this:
In 2014 may I
deepen my commitment to curiosity and kindness, to recognizing others as “just
like me” and to letting go of my secondary archery practice gently, one arrow
at a time.
What are your
New Year’s Resolutions?
How will you
support yourself in the process of making these changes?
May your 2014 be
filled with rich insights, limitless joy and bacon truffles;)
Namaste,
EJ
[Reprinted with permission
by Elizabeth J. Neuse. Elizabeth is a Senior Teacher at YogaWorks and you can find
more info on her and her teachings here.]
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