Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Writer's Block

I’ve suffered a bout of writer’s block recently. (You might’ve guessed it, based on my lack of posts over the past several days.) I’ve been quite displeased with myself because of this drought. I’ve had nagging feelings of: Why aren’t I feeling creative? Why am I too lazy to dig a little deeper for inspiration? Why must I label myself as lazy, or as anything at all? And then, Why am I so hard on myself? The other day I told my therapist that I’m living a lie. Lately my blog has been mostly restaurant reviews (which are all true and heartfelt) but I haven’t been penning anything about the not so delicious stuff. The funk I fell into this winter, after the Sandy Hook shooting. The “blahness” I’ve been feeling recently, probably caused by over-tiredness, no doubt triggered by my insomnia as of late. I write a mindful lifestyle blog, yet lately I’ve really struggled to be in the moment.

Just like writer’s block and insomnia, savoring the here and now can be a vicious cycle. And there are good things to savor! But alas, my mind wanders. I begin to worry. My acupuncturist (yes I’ve enlisted a team of experts to help with my wellbeing) reminds me not to judge these moments; we all have our work cut out for us.

Fortunately there are tools. There are books to borrow, online forums to visit. As I’ve mentioned many times before, life coach Martha Beck has been a huge help and source of inspiration for me. And her advice is free J In fact, in my email inbox last night I received her latest blog entry. It’s beautiful. And you can read it here. And here’s one quote that I’m keeping in mind:
The labyrinth is teaching me to question the bits of driven, linear, achievement-based dysfunction that can make me miserable in a life of incredible blessings and good fortune. We didn’t enter life to get it done. There is no place not worth revisiting. We double back to find the pieces of ourselves that still clutch the same issues like a baby clutching its pacifier. Compassion invited us to this unbearably repetitive, slow, complex path of self-discovery, to show us that only when we surrender our idea of how things should be going do we notice that the entire thing is breathtakingly beautiful.
For me this serves as a timely reminder that it’s okay to be on a path of self-discovery. No particular “achievement” (like being the most prolific and popular blogger to ever exist) is going to change Me. So, I haven’t blogged in a month. It’s fine. I’m back. And I’m exactly where I need to be. 


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