I had a
small spat with a girlfriend last week. She was upset about my lack of
motivation to leave my cocoon of coziness and meet her in an alternate area of
Manhattan. And rightfully so. I’m a total homebody and a bit of a downtown
snob. I only go above 14th street
for Elio’s and haircuts. But in all seriousness, I had been feeling in a funk
and was uninspired to go to Jack’s, let alone Hell’s Kitchen. But alas, my
friend had a point. Meeting in the middle is not only a metaphor for healthy
relationship behavior; it’s literally the best-case scenario for friends who
live on opposite poles of a city.
What’s
not a good scenario? Schlepping from your home for some much needed quality
time with your friend, only to find yourself sitting all by your lonesome for
much of the meal, while your dining companion incessantly texts her other
friends. And then of course you’re left with a couple of awkward options: take
out your own cell phone and start trolling Twitter for the latest Alec Baldwin
rant, or sit there, like a loser, chugging wine and trying not to spy too
obviously on the conversations of fellow diners at close-by tables.
Since
said incident, I’ve mustered up the cojones to kindly ask that my dates refrain
from constant cell phone usage. Like many females, I cringe at thought of even
necessary, mild confrontation. (I’ve warmed to non-stinky cheese. But I’ll
never warm to even small-scale confrontation.)
I get it.
Sometimes phones on dinner tables are a non-negotiable, i.e. for Anne Hathaway
in The Devil Wears Prada and doctors on call. My attorney fiancé is fond of saying
“The law is a demanding mistress.”
But many
times, scrolling text messages during dinner is not only rude, it defeats the
purpose of dining with companions. Two friends sit together physically, but are
worlds away mentally. It’s downright silly. What’s more precious than being in
the present moment with close friends?
There’s a
time and a place for everything. I too, of course, am susceptible to the
technology lure. Especially when I want to tweet a clever restaurant sign, or
even announce to the world HELLO PEOPLE I AM OUT PARTYING WITH MY HOMEGILRS! I
want to shout from the proverbial mountaintop (aka the Facebook status) that I
am in love with spending time with my besties. So I say: let’s take a moment.
Maybe at the end of a meal. Just a brief moment. To visit cyberspace. But for
the remainder of the hangout time, let’s put down our connected devices and be
left to our own devices, to really connect.
A
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