2014

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions any more. Those clichéd self-promises don’t stick. They’re silly. Instead, I’m being a yogi regarding The New Year. I’m taking some time to reflect on 2013 and I’m setting some intentions for going forward. But my most important intention of all: to be present through it all.

2013 was a big year.

I married my best friend.

I traveled to Napa (twice!) and Jamaica.

We went on an amazing honeymoon. (Blog posts to come.)

I went on my first safari and visited South Africa and Mauritius for the first time. (See above.)

I earned a promotion at work.

A MUSE BOUCHE got lots of love on social media here and here. (Thank you fans.)

I embraced Instagram (@amyesinger).

I watched Breaking Bad, in an embarrassingly short period of time.

I changed my name.

I taught myself how to make homemade chicken salad and used those skills to make many packed lunches for my hubby and me.

I learned how to make homemade sushi; thanks to our amazing NYE hosts Megan & Ryan.

My husband and I started cooking dinner, often.

[Wedding Photo by Carlie Statsky, Napa, CA]

[Cape Town, South Africa]

[Sabi Sands in Kruger National Park, South Africa]

2014 is going to be a big year.

I want to try a cooking class.

I’m going to continue cooking and brown bagging my lunch.

I plan to find an apartment spacious enough for a kitchen table. (Only in NYC, friends.)

I want to host dinner parties, or at least more parties, for my friends.

I plan to post a new blog at least once/week.

I’m going to work on my book, seriously.

I will travel more with my hubby.

I intend to unplug more, always during meals.

I want to clean out the clutter in my personal space, in my email and in life.

I will continue to enjoy the little things, like snuggling up under some Faux Fur with my husband on a frigid winter day.

A

jamaican me be in the moment

Recently I was invited to Jamaica by my friend Blair and her beautiful family. They were celebrating a big birthday. Blair’s friends were invited to share in the celebration, which gave us all a rare occasion to be together in a gorgeous setting, with luxurious accommodations and delicious food. It was absolutely lovely. And that’s a gross understatement.

My favorite part of the vacation – a close second to trying paddle boarding and falling in love with the “sport” J  – was having true quality time with my friends. When we weren’t at the beach doing water sports, wading in the bathtub ocean or lounging by the sea, we were at our villa laying in and around the pool, or sitting together for meals. It was decadent.

I savored being disconnected from technology. Besides streaming Spotify for background music, we were rarely plugged in. We didn’t even have cell service; my only communication with my fiance was FaceTime via Wi-Fi, which was only available in one common room. And while I missed having private conversations with Justin, I sure didn’t miss being on my phone. Mealtimes were especially special because our group sat together and conversed with each other, not with people on the other end of our text messages.

But of course we don’t need an extravagant getaway to take a vacation from our phones. We can just follow some rules… :) 

A

The Rules

Speaking of unwanted guests at the dinner table, do you and your loved ones have rules in place for keeping out too much technology?

Justin and I ignore our phones during dinner together. And I leave my phone on silent during most of my time at home. (Remember those prehistoric times – back in the 90’s – when you could simply be unavailable?) Periodically I need to take time off from technology, or at least from being “plugged in.” I crave down time.

And lately when Justin and I are out and about, doing errands and all of the boring but beautiful things that a pair of 20-something fiancés does in their spare time, I joke about scenarios like “No phones while waiting on the Duane Reade checkout aisle!” Ironically the only time we’re all about being on our respective smartphones is when we’re in taxis. We’re both susceptible to nausea brought on by reading in moving vehicles. (That’s the technical term of course.)

I read this Huffington Post article recently, which points out that we’re all “social zombies, alone together.”

I’m curious. Do you consider your phone a limb of sorts? Or do you ban technology from your kitchen table? What do you do, in terms of staying on, or disconnecting?

[Just me & the fiance. In the moment.]

 A

P.S. The March issue of Women’s Health magazine reveals that “Having a phone out or texting” is the #1 reason a first date doesn’t make it to the second round.

P.P.S. in the April issue of Health magazine, editors provide “A new reason to power down… Those of us who media multitask are up to 70 percent more likely to have symptoms of anxiety and depression.”

photo credit: veronica lola 

Phoning it in

I had a small spat with a girlfriend last week. She was upset about my lack of motivation to leave my cocoon of coziness and meet her in an alternate area of Manhattan. And rightfully so. I’m a total homebody and a bit of a downtown snob. I only go above 14^th street for Elio’s and haircuts. But in all seriousness, I had been feeling in a funk and was uninspired to go to Jack’s, let alone Hell’s Kitchen. But alas, my friend had a point. Meeting in the middle is not only a metaphor for healthy relationship behavior; it’s literally the best-case scenario for friends who live on opposite poles of a city.

What’s not a good scenario? Schlepping from your home for some much needed quality time with your friend, only to find yourself sitting all by your lonesome for much of the meal, while your dining companion incessantly texts her other friends. And then of course you’re left with a couple of awkward options: take out your own cell phone and start trolling Twitter for the latest Alec Baldwin rant, or sit there, like a loser, chugging wine and trying not to spy too obviously on the conversations of fellow diners at close-by tables.

Since said incident, I’ve mustered up the cojones to kindly ask that my dates refrain from constant cell phone usage. Like many females, I cringe at thought of even necessary, mild confrontation. (I’ve warmed to non-stinky cheese. But I’ll never warm to even small-scale confrontation.)

I get it. Sometimes phones on dinner tables are a non-negotiable, i.e. for Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada and doctors on call. My attorney fiancé is fond of saying “The law is a demanding mistress.”

But many times, scrolling text messages during dinner is not only rude, it defeats the purpose of dining with companions. Two friends sit together physically, but are worlds away mentally. It’s downright silly. What’s more precious than being in the present moment with close friends?

There’s a time and a place for everything. I too, of course, am susceptible to the technology lure. Especially when I want to tweet a clever restaurant sign, or even announce to the world HELLO PEOPLE I AM OUT PARTYING WITH MY HOMEGILRS! I want to shout from the proverbial mountaintop (aka the Facebook status) that I am in love with spending time with my besties. So I say: let’s take a moment. Maybe at the end of a meal. Just a brief moment. To visit cyberspace. But for the remainder of the hangout time, let’s put down our connected devices and be left to our own devices, to really connect.

A

Writer's Block

I’ve suffered a bout of writer’s block recently. (You might’ve guessed it, based on my lack of posts over the past several days.) I’ve been quite displeased with myself because of this drought. I’ve had nagging feelings of: Why aren’t I feeling creative? Why am I too lazy to dig a little deeper for inspiration? Why must I label myself as lazy, or as anything at all? And then, Why am I so hard on myself? The other day I told my therapist that I’m living a lie. Lately my blog has been mostly restaurant reviews (which are all true and heartfelt) but I haven’t been penning anything about the not so delicious stuff. The funk I fell into this winter, after the Sandy Hook shooting. The “blahness” I’ve been feeling recently, probably caused by over-tiredness, no doubt triggered by my insomnia as of late. I write a mindful lifestyle blog, yet lately I’ve really struggled to be in the moment.

Just like writer’s block and insomnia, savoring the here and now can be a vicious cycle. And there are good things to savor! But alas, my mind wanders. I begin to worry. My acupuncturist (yes I’ve enlisted a team of experts to help with my wellbeing) reminds me not to judge these moments; we all have our work cut out for us.

Fortunately there are tools. There are books to borrow, online forums to visit. As I’ve mentioned many times before, life coach Martha Beck has been a huge help and source of inspiration for me. And her advice is free J In fact, in my email inbox last night I received her latest blog entry. It’s beautiful. And you can read it here. And here’s one quote that I’m keeping in mind:

The labyrinth is teaching me to question the bits of driven, linear, achievement-based dysfunction that can make me miserable in a life of incredible blessings and good fortune. We didn’t enter life to get it done. There is no place not worth revisiting. We double back to find the pieces of ourselves that still clutch the same issues like a baby clutching its pacifier. Compassion invited us to this unbearably repetitive, slow, complex path of self-discovery, to show us that only when we surrender our idea of how things should be going do we notice that the entire thing is breathtakingly beautiful.

For me this serves as a timely reminder that it’s okay to be on a path of self-discovery. No particular “achievement” (like being the most prolific and popular blogger to ever exist) is going to change Me. So, I haven’t blogged in a month. It’s fine. I’m back. And I’m exactly where I need to be. 

A

Fall Back In

For me, fall/winter has been a time of overconsumption. I haven’t been following my own advice to eat non-nutritious food in moderation, as discussed here. It started mid-October. Justin and I (along with 20 of our closest college friends) visited our alma mater, The University of Wisconsin-Madison. It was a blast, and we binged on beer and cheese curds among other college munchies. Then we got stuck in Chicago during Sandy, which turned out to be a great opportunity to prolong our time with college friends, but also an excuse to just laze around, just like we did back in college. From Chicago we road-tripped back to NYC, which of course was another unhealthy eating excursion. Next was NOLA for Thanksgiving. And since being back in NYC, it’s been one Secret Santa dinner after another, as well as Hanukah feasts with family, Xmas Chinese food and movie theater candy. Lots of movie theater candy.

This period of overconsumption has not been limited to food. We’ve recently seen many movies both in theaters and on TV, we’ve started two new television series, and I read another new book. All this of course in addition to my weekly digest of too many magazines to admit. It’s been media overload.

It’s time to lighten the load, mindfully. I’m trying to be yogic and not make myself feel bad for the fact that I’ve been feeling blah because I’ve been eating poorly and watching too much TV. Otherwise I’ll just continue to eat poorly and be inactive. (And so the vicious cycle goes.)    

No. Yoga has taught me to accept me for me, as I am. Yoga has taught me to not beat myself up over “bad” behavior – to not label behavior as being “bad” or “good” in the first place. I read this inspiring statement in a YogaWorks newsletter today: “Don’t get discouraged if unhealthy eating habits show up from time to time. As some of my favorite yoga teachers say during a challenging pose, ‘if you fall out, fall back in.’”

A

P.S. A quick media review –

I thought This is 40 was eh.

I loved Les Mis.

I also loved Django Unchained. (Even though I had to cover my eyes for much of it.)

And Gone Girl? So good. I couldn’t put it down.